Portrait of Pain
by Seena
Summary: When the Cosmic Balance suddenly shifts as the Sennen Eye changes hands, the guardian of the Sennen Items is forced to face his past... and relive the suffering that had faded to a painful memory...


Portrait of Pain  
By: Seena  
  
Chapter 1: The Calling  
  
A.N. I have no clue what possessed my to write this. Actually, I sort of do. Indigo Tantarian's having a contest where you have to pair either one of her original chars, the Spirits of the Sennen Ankh and the Sennen Scales, or Shaadii with someone. Ya. So I decided to try to pair Shaadii, because I'm no good with original characters. Not that I'm good with romances either - this will most likely be the strangest thing that I've ever written - but I figure I at least have a chance. Where I got this idea, I don't know. There will most likely be very little romance - maybe some in flashbacks, but that's it - though I'm going to try and put in a little angst. I like angst. So that's why this is a romance/angst story (which it's not really, but that's kind of what I'm going for) with an extremely odd, and maybe never-done-before couple. If you actually read all that, you must be either really bored or really weird. Like me. And being weird's a good thing.  
  
Oh, yeah, just to avoid any confusion, this story is from Shaadii's point of view. Cynthia is Cecilia's original japanese name (why do the dubbers change names that were already americanized? @_@), so I'll most likely be using that. Maximillion Pegasus was originally Pegasus J. Crawford, so I'll be calling him that. The is really the , and is . I prefer to use the Japanese names when I know them. ^_^  
  
Disclaimer: I own Yu-Gi-Oh! - in my dreams. However, this is the real world, where I do not happen to be privileged enough to own my own multimillion kick-butt anime. Thus, Yu-Gi-Oh!'s not mine. So sorry.  
  


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_It is better to die on your feet than to live on your knees. Or is it? Perhaps it is better to bide your time, and then to rise you your feet when it is least expected. For once you die, you are dead, and can do nothing to resolve a situation... and is this not, in essence, the same as losing your cause? For whilst you are alive, there is still hope... hope to achieve your goal, whatever it may be. In death, there is nothing... nothing but failure. And sadness, for those left behind..._  
  


***  


  
I woke up at dawn, as always. I took a shower - cold - dressed myself, and cooked some breakfast, as always. I went to the temples and made an offering to the gods, especially Thoth (for wisdom), as always. I went back to my excuse for a home and studied my scrolls. As always.  
  
Generally, I was content. Even if I was not, it was of no importance to anyone else. The meaning of life was not to be happy, but to make others happy. No one else had seemed to figure that out yet, unfortunately for me. But, as I stated before, personal happiness was of no importance; it was an overrated luxury.  
  
I cleared these thoughts from my mind as I prepared to meditate. One must have a clear mind, and only reflect on _what is_, while meditating. It is not as hard as it sounds. A clear mind is often a good thing, for it is clean of suffering past. So I began to meditate. As always.  
  
Why could things have not simply stayed as they always were?  
  
When I felt the Cosmic Balance shift, my heart almost stopped. It wasn't so much the earth-shattering effect of Shadow Magic shooting through my skull that was the real problem (though I must admit that it was far from pleasant); the physical pain would be over, eventually. No, it was a far deeper pain... a pain that one could never fully recover from. A scar of the heart...  
  
Well, there was certainly no more meditating after _that_. As the guardian of the Sennen Items, I was under obligation to fix the upset in the Cosmic Balance. One cannot describe, in words, the strong desire I felt to not go. I would have rather sacrificed myself at the foot of Anubis' alter, and face a thousand hells and tortures, than to have to fix _this_ imbalance. For the Item that had exchanged hands was the Sennen Eye, the property of one Pegasus J. Crawford. Pegasus J. Crawford, the widower of one Cynthia Crawford. Cynthia Crawford, the object of affection of one Shaadii.   
  
It was not my place to commit suicide, any more than it was my place to refuse my duties. My duties to guard the Items and protect this Earth...  
  
Darkness once again walks the earth, and despair grows as the balance shifts. Evil events are taking place. And as guardian of the Sennen Items... I have to do whatever it takes to restore the balance of power, regardless of my own suffering. I did not choose my fate, but I accept it. For what use is there in denial? There will still be chaos, whether I believe or not. And at least in acceptance, perhaps something can be done...  
  
Or perhaps not. But that is my fate.  
  
I stated before that personal happiness is not of any importance to me. I suppose that is untrue; for I, like any other man on this earth, long for something which I cannot have. But I, unlike many men, put my duty above this craving. And my duty is to protect the world. Not myself.   
  
Keeping this in mind, I began channeling energy through the Sennen Ankh, muttering a spell for transportation. I closed my eyes, prepared to face the trial and tribulation of the heart that I knew would soon come...  
  


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Yes, I'm aware that that was exceedingly short. My next chapter will be longer (maybe), but in the meantime, please review! I want to know what you guys think of this concept!


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